i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
