would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
