I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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