How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
