how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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