"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
