I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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