I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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