By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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