he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
