My girlfriend figured out who you are.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
