I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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