waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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