Don't make out with my wife yet
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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