Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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