yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
