is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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