I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
