That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have fence marks all over my body
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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