All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
