I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
