I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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