he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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