hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
