matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
