why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
