I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
