At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
