My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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