Only a mothe r could love this liver
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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