I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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