either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
