The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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