Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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