So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
barbara walters just said penis...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He better not be in your backpack
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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