shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
