i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
