HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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