if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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