Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
