my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
