don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize