I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
