Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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