and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
