The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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