So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
