Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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