I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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