i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
