You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
