Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
