"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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