He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
