either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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