we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think people are normalizing furries
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
