doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
