Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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