this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Even my vagina gasped.
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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