I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
