she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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