does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
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This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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