Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
