Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
