Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
